Benji BBQ

For those of you who know me here is some of the madness I deal with on a day to day basis. This is verbatim and certain parts of the conversation have been omitted so as to not identify people involved.

J=Jordo
Q=Qwazy

J-How can I help you?
Q-I have a question.
J-What can I help you with.
Q-My dog just died. I have a big metal can and tried to cremate the dog in a fire pit, and a police looked over the wall and said that it was illegal, and that I had to bury the dog, and I said okay and asked if he wanted me to put the fire out and he did. I just want to know the legality of this.
J-Soooo, you were trying to cremate your dog in your back yard and a police officer looked over your wall and told you to put it out and that what you were doing was illegal, right?
Q-Yes.
J-And you want the number of _____ because you want to make an inquiry into the legality of cremating your dog in your back yard.
Q-Yes.
J-I'm going to give you the phone of _____ but I'm pretty sure they will tell you the same thing since the police officer told you it was illegal, right?
Q-The police told me it was illegal, yeah. There was some smoke coming out.
J-Well I'm pretty sure _______ is not going to say anything different.
Q-I think i'll just bury the dog. He looked over the wall cause he smelled it and saw smoke. The dog died the other day, he's 17 and I want to creamate him where he has lived for the past 17 years. Bye.


I totally understand having an animal that is part of your life cremated and placed in an urn for posterity. I've known a number of people who have done such things. What I don't understand is, hasn't this chick ever BBQed? Hasn't she seen what a burger looks like when you leave the meat unattended for too long whilst getting a T.D.M. facial? It leaves a charred hocky puck, not a pile of ash. She would either need a 55 gallon metal drum to put the dog in, or she would have to carve it up like a turkey and put it in a meat grinder to fit it in her large metal can. She really didn't think this out very well. From the likes her I would assume she was anticipating putting the dog in an old Juan Valdez coffee container so he could spend eternity with her owner's menthol cigarettes. He always did like squeezing his muzzle into her can and eating mommy's butt.